为您找到与搞笑英文笑话合集五篇 英语笑话大全相关的共200个结果:
One day, the father lets eight-year-old son send a letter. The son took the letter. The father then remembered he didn't write address and addressee's name on the envelope.
After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter into the mail box?"
"Certainly."
"You didn't notice that the envelope does not have address and addressee's name on it?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why didn't you take it back?"
"I thought that you did not write address and addressee, because you wouldn't let me know to whom you send the letter!"
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One night just before Valentine's Day a woman had a lovely dream about a beautiful necklace.
When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it could mean?"
"You'll find out on Valentine's Day." he said with a knowing smile.
On Valentine's Day, the man gave his delighted wife a beautifully wrapped package.
Excitedly, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".
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Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.
Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated, and they still won’t go away.
The third said, I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!
三个牧师的故事
三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道:“你们知道吗,自从夏天来临,我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰,我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”
另外一位说:“是啊,我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍,它们还是赶不走。”
第三个牧师说:“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼,让它们成为教会的一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。”
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A woman walks into a pet shop and sees a cute little dog. She asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”
一个妇人走进一家宠物店,看见一只很可爱的小狗。她问店主:“你的狗咬人吗?”
The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.”
店主说:“不,我的狗不咬人。”
The woman tries to pet the dog and the dog bites her.
于是这个妇人试着抚摸小狗,可是小狗却咬了她。
“Ouch!” She says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
“哎哟!”妇人说,“我想你刚才还说你的狗不咬人。”
The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!”
店主人回答说:“那不是我的狗。”
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英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言。下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑笑话大全,欢迎大家阅读!
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
中文:
父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒?
汤姆:我不知道,爸爸。
父亲:啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课?
汤姆:我们老师,爸爸。
4、Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."
Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."
Johnson: "But I want you to."
Wife: "But why?"
Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
译文:
老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说:“我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”
妻子说:“不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人。”
约翰逊:“但我希望你这么做。”
妻子:“为什么?”
约翰逊:“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
5、A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
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下面是读文网小编整理的一些关于there be在英语中的特殊用法, 希望大家喜欢。
A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.
"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.
"I fall off my perch2 you fool!!" screeches3 the parrot.
有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。在那里,他看见有只鹦鹉的左腿被红线系住,右腿则被绿线系住。对此他感到不解,于是他问该店的老板,老板回答说:“这只鹦鹉受过特殊的训练。如果拉红线,它就讲法语,拉绿线,它则讲德语。”
这个好奇的人接着问,“要是我两条线都拉,会怎么样呢?”
“我就会掉下来了,你这个傻瓜!!”鹦鹉尖叫着说。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。与此同时,笑话也是人们反对极权和专制制度的有力武器。下面小编整理了五个经典搞笑的英语笑话及其翻译,希望可以给你的生活带来欢乐!
英语经典幽默笑话一:The blonde and the farmer
There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。
一个金发女郎,是那么恶心的黄色笑话她把头发染成红色。笑话停了下来,她觉得很好,她在农村的一个搭车的星期六下午。而在这旅程,她注意到一群羊,停下车来把......。
Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.
Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?
Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.
儿子:妈妈,John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。
妈妈:你只关心这个吗?不会比一下其它东西?
儿子:有啊,他妈妈比你漂亮。
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语笑话大全,欢迎大家阅读!
Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.
One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"
我们的物理教授千方百计引导我们讨论阿基米德的排水原理。他告诉我们阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡,他进入池子,发现水涨高了,溢出池沿。他对这一发现十分激动,跑到街上高叫:“Eureka,Eureka!”教授问我们谁知道他喊的是什么意思。
一个学生站起来答道:“我光屁股啦,我光屁股啦!”
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下面是读文网小编整理的搞笑英文笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"
And Julie replied, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"
朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“祷告上帝,”她说,“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”
妈妈打断她说:“朱莉叶,你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢?”
朱莉叶回答说:“因为我在地理考卷上是这么写的。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的cctv英语演讲英文演讲稿, 希望对大家有帮助。
Good morning teachers and fellow students. Today we would like to introduce a few favorite books to you.
My favorite book is (Italian: Cuore). This is a diary written by an Italian boy Enrico. The diary is about his life and study. It included various touching stories that happened around Enrico, the mottos taught by his parents, as well as the wonderful ten "monthly" stories told by his teacher during the class. Every word in the chapter describes the word "love". From patriotism to friendship, and to the love between parents and child -- really touching.
This novel taught me how to love, and how to learn from love. I really like this book very much. How about you? What is your favorite book?
My favorite book is . Have you read it before?
Oh, I haven’t read this book before. What is it about?
Well, it is a story of a rich girl who maintained her noble character after the bank uptcy of her father. The story is happy ending.
Can you tell us why you love this book so much?
Sure. It is because the story taught us to be brave and to face the challenges and difficulties with courage. I am deeply impressed by the strength and perseverance of the little princein the story. I have decided to learn from her from now on.
Oh I see, the story sounds very good. I cannot wait to read this book as well.
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下面是读文网小编为大家整理的几则经典英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.
在期末考试之前,汤姆告诉他的母亲:“妈妈,我昨天晚上做了一个梦,梦见我通过了今天的考试。”“不要相信梦,亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。“那么,我真希望在今晚的梦中,我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。
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幽默笑话,能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑,得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默趣味的英语笑话五则,欢迎大家阅读!
To the optimist,the glass is half full.to the pessmist,the glass is haIf empty.To theengIneer,the gIaSs is twice as big as it needs to be.
对于乐观主义者,这玻璃杯有一半是满的:对于悲观主义者,这玻璃杯有一半是空的。对于工程师,这玻璃杯比实际需要大了一倍。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.
一个生意人走进一家酒馆,在吧台坐下,点了一杯加冰的双料martini。喝完,那生意人往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼,然后又让服务员把杯子满上。
After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
喝完,生意人又往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼,然后又让服务生帮他把杯子满上。
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
这时酒馆的服务生说话了,“呃,老兄,我整个晚上给你倒martini都没有问题,但你得告诉我,你为什么在点下一杯酒前都要往自己衬衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
生意人回答,“我看的是我老婆的一张照片。如果照片上的人开始变得好看起来,那就说明我喝得差不多了,该回家了。”
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阅读英语笑话是我们放松的一种方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读收藏!
On her return from school,little Dolly, aged ten,was pulled on to her Daddy's knee,and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise-a little baby brother.She seemed glad,and presently said:
放学回到家里,十岁的小多莉被拉过来坐在她爸爸的膝上,她被告知那天仙女们带来了一个大大的惊奇—一个婴儿小弟弟。她似乎很高兴,马上说:
"Will you give me a stamp,daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.
“爸爸,你能不能给我一张邮票?我要写信告诉汤姆哥哥。”
The father was touched by this,and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother,who was away at school.Later,curious to know how she would tell the news,he took an opportunity to read what she had written.He received something of a shock on reading the following:
父亲被这话感动了,他为小姑娘提供了给她哥哥写信所需的各种用具,她的哥哥住在学校里。后来,想知道她是怎么报告这个消息的,他找机会读了她写的信。在读到下面这两行字时,他差点儿惊呆了:
“Dear Tom,
“亲爱的汤姆:
It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”
今天结果出来了,你输了;是个男孩。”
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